13 Weeks

Only 3 more days until second tri! I never thought I'd get to this point. The past 9 weeks seemed to last FOREVER. Almost one-third there! 

Symptom-wise, no big developments. Food fixations are coming back. You can say the name of a food item to me at 5:40 am and I can't get it out of my head until I eat it. I'm a food marketer's dream right now. I'm still craving a lot of tomato sauce things. Sometimes I get a candy craving. My sweet husband indulges me. Last Friday he brought me home a huge bag of peach rings and gummy worms. 

I'm 30% in maternity clothes now. I realize that's pretty early, but comfort is key, and I feel pretty uncomfortable in a lot of m pre-pregnancy clothes. At least with me buying/wearing maternity clothes this early, I'm bound to get my money's worth. 

The highlight of the week was making our Facebook announcement. I'm not a secret-keeper (my secrets anyway), so it's wonderful to be "out there." 

Baby is now the size of a peach and has fingerprints! 

The Reveal

Well, Baby Brink is finally Facebook official! I was so nervous to post our photo announcement -- for two reasons. What if something awful happens? That's a ton of people to untell. And also, what if no one comments or is happy for us?! (Why yes, I am a Paranoid Polly.)

Thankfully we received a ton of likes and comments in just an hour. Whew!
And here are some pics from our reveal session:

12 Weeks

Pregnancy is becoming more real. Or maybe it's hearing the heartbeat at this week's exam. I was feeling pretty guilty before this... like a robot for not feeling a bond with my baby yet. There are so many unknowns right now. As a Type A, planner type it's hard for me to plan ahead -- to know who this little person will be once on the outside. What will he/she look like? Act like? What kind of human will they grow to be? Will they be smart, athletic, funny, introverted, artistic? How will we be as parents? How will I survive the drawbacks of parenthood everyone seems to warn me about?

 It's sometimes easy to forget I'm physically pregnant -- I'm not quite showing, my symptoms are not strong, and no nursery or baby gear in sight. But when I find myself alone, I rub my belly and softly whisper to the little peanut. And it's then the overwhelming emotion washes over me.

The past two weeks I've been furiously buying maternity clothes. Getting dressed in the morning is my biggest nightmare anymore, so the more I can diminish that aggravation the better!

Hoping to get our reveal shoot done this weekend. If we do, our little peanut becomes Facebook official on Monday!

Baby's Hearbeat

Limes and Lab Work

I didn't pay much attention to the weekly fruit comparisons until 11 weeks, which puts my fetus at the size of a lime. A lime seems so much bigger than a prune! Yet when I hold the lime against my belly it seems so small. :-/  

Tomorrow I have my first physical with a midwife. I'm assuming they'll also try the doppler on me then to hear the heartbeat which is something we didn't do at my first ultrasound. I'm hoping the midwife won't mind if I pull out my iPhone to capture the sound of it. I want to play it again and again until the next time. I thought about investing in my own doppler, but based on my friends' experience, I think it would just make me more neurotic than I already am. Though I am MUCH more relaxed now than in early pregnancy. But now the labor and parenthood fears are cropping up. I assume that doesn't go away at any point.

First tri labwork I can check off my list! 9 vials of blood loss later, I'm actually feeling pretty good. I hear the next blood draw isn't until the glucose test, so my poor veins can rest easy for a bit. 

I had wanted to shoot our announcement photo this weekend, but the weather didn't cooperate. This may put my timeline a little back, but that's okay. As comfortable as I am about the viability of this pregnancy, I foresee some panicking after I hit "post." 

Early pregnancy fatigue is creeping back around; I'm exhausted by 7 pm. Also experiencing a little more nausea too. Those specific cravings have mostly subsided too. Maybe now I can finally eat more salads or something! :)

11 Weeks

One more to 12! I know technically second tri doesn't start until 13w3d, but somehow 12 feels more like a trimester. Plus 12 is when we planned to become "Facebook official." And that may have to wait longer than I wanted. I'm foreseeing some obstacles in my path to my planned reveal (I'm really making this more awesome than it really is, by the way).

At any rate, I've also semi-figured out my new tripod and found a place to start taking my weekly bump progress pics. (Hint: it's the nursery!) Let me put this disclaimer on the photo in this post: I know that is not a legitimate baby bump, but it is because of pregnancy that my belly looks twice the size it normally does, so let a girl try to feel good about her expanding waistline.

Symptom-wise, there really have been no new developments. Cravings lean more toward things with tomato sauce in them -- like Italian cheesesteaks, cheap pizza rolls, etc.

I thank God every day that I have not been graced with morning sickness or other tummy concerns. If my chief complaints are waking up 3x a night to use the bathroom and my outrageous appetite, then I'm doing well. The Negative Nelly part of me wonders what could lie ahead as payback. After all, I didn't have problems conceiving and my pregnancy so far has been 'easy' --- so when does the other shoe drop?

I've definitely been slacking on reading my pregnancy books, but I'm LOVING these BabyCenter videos. The whole development process really fascinates me.

10 Weeks

Double digits and one quarter of the way there! This week was a little surreal with getting our first peek at the baby during the ultrasound. My husband says he becomes even more shocked each time he looks the sonogram and can't get over how unbelievable it is that we created a life. Honestly it's a lot to grasp, even for me who has been housing the little thing. I can't believe there are little arms and legs just waving around in my body and I can't feel a thing! I assume it gets to feel a little more natural once my bump grows and when I feel the flutters and kicks.

Symptom-wise, no changes. Though I think the specific cravings are toning down a bit. I notice if I go too many hours between eating I get acid reflux. I'm really trying to work in more healthy items into my day -- not only for the sake of my baby, but also because my increasing size is troubling me.

Next weekend we're doing a little mini photoshoot for our official announcement. It will feel good to be "out"! Not that I'm too shy about telling people in person lately, but I'll feel a little less censored. :)

I did  buy a few maternity items last week including a pair of work pants. The full belly panel is a little tricky to get used to, especially because my blump doesn't fill it out!

Baby's First Photo!

Today was the big day -- our first ultrasound and first time we got to see our little peanut! From what I could tell, it looks like everything is on schedule and going well. The heartbeat was 176 bpm. He/she was bouncing around waving arms and legs  -- so crazy! I had half convinced myself there was no baby there but I was thankfully proven wrong. How is it possible it can have all its little body parts and organs and be an inch big?! 

Best of all -- there was only one little baby in there. I would have fallen off the table if it had been twins! Seeing the little bean has reduced about half of my pregnancy anxiety, and I'll feel a little more safe in telling people, buying maternity clothes and maybe even picking up some baby items! Now here's hoping the next 10 weeks until I have my next ultrasound don't creep by too slowly!

9 Weeks

Still in the single digits, but I'm getting there. The most wonderful part about 9 weeks is this week we get to see the lil gummy bear! Tuesday can't come soon enough. I just pray everything is on track and that it goes smoothly. I really think (provided things go well) this will really make it more real for both of us, especially W.

my blump

Symptoms this week are maintaining steady - no new ones. I think the food cravings are getting moderately better. I'm not ragingly hunger at all hours of the day now -- just a few. I'm working on making better choices (as much as I can) because I'm afraid to gain a bajillion pounds.

At this stage, most of my close friends (including work friends) know. I can't be sure how many family members know since our parents have loose lips. The day after our u/s we're having a birthday dinner for my gram. I'm NOT hijacking the dinner, but I'll flash the sonogram pic to any of them who don't know already. The plan is to make it Facebook official the end of April when I'm 12 weeks. I'm completely nervous to make that step just in case something awful happens, but I can't live in fear this whole pregnancy, right?

I'm going shopping this weekend because my closet is the most frustrating thing in my life these days! I really thought many of my dresses would see me through the first half of pregnancy, but I underestimated the boob/ass gain. I'm not ready for maternity yet, but maybe I can find some roomier empire dresses to see me through. Wish me luck! And happy Friday!

8 Weeks

Eight weeks already! I whined at the beginning that this pregnancy seemed to move so slowly, but now it's picking up some steam thankfully. Lots of random thoughts today.

Instragram pics. Don't worry -- it's grape juice I'm holding!

1. Last weekend I went with a group of friends to our annual winery trip. Luckily I've remained nausea-free, so  the trip wasn't as bad as I figured; in fact I had fun. I brought my camera gear which helped occupy me while the others drank. Admittedly I felt some pangs of jealousy at my favorite wineries, but it's not like I'll never drink again ... right? 

2. Not much in the way of symptoms, though the fatigue is back. Food cravings are still there, but not as strong as last week.

3. I had my first OB appointment on Tuesday. It was mainly just talking to an office nurse regarding family history, medical history, dos and donts, etc. But the best part of all was finding out when I get my first ultrasound -- April 10. I am sooo excited for this one, but I'm

also equally terrified. I keep replaying stories of women who are told at this appointment there's no heartbeat or the baby stopped growing, etc. The further into this I get I obviously grow more attached to my little peanut. I just can't fathom going through a loss. Each time someone on my birth month board announces a goodbye, I just want to cry.

4. According to my handy little illustration, baby has little arm and leg nubs and is developing eyes! It all seems to happen so quickly from little blob to real characteristics and body parts! This whole thing is so mystifying and amazing.

5. I finally got around to ordering a tripod yesterday so I can start doing weekly bump shots. I'm a bit of photo perfectionist, so I'm having a hard time coming up with how I want these to look -- do I wear the same outfit? Face the same direction? Right now I'm just lumpy between the bloaty belly and the ever-increasing-in-size backend, so it's not too pretty too look at.

Anyway, happy Friday to all!!

7 Weeks

7 weeks as of yesterday! Each Friday when I move into that next week I feel a mini wave of relief. I've been so fortunate this week to have a little more energy back and absolutely no nausea. The lessening of the symptoms do make me nervous, but I still have a few constant symptoms hanging around.

The one that emerged this week -- food obsession. I fed my inner fat kid this whole week. I'm craving really bad for me foods like fast food burgers, pizza, cheesesteaks, carbs. Eating is such an experience these days. It makes me so happy. While I'm thankful I'm facing that instead of all day morning sickness, I know I can't keep on this path or I will be 800 lbs by second trimester!

In about an hour we leave for our annual winery trip. This year will probably be a little bit more boring for me, just watching my group of friends and husband sip wine all day, but I'll try to make the best of it. At least there'll be plenty of food to look foward to!

Too Soon for Maternity Clothes?

Over the weekend the hubs and I went shopping. Because of my awesome bloat belly, I thought it might be time to get a feel for what size maternity clothes I might be wearing soon. It's been awful dressing lately. Like I wrote before, I normally have a rounded out lower belly, but now? It's ridic. I was never a big pants wearer, but now my only pants options are leggings and my stretchy almost yoga-pant NY & Co. "trousers." I really thought my closet of over 100 dresses would pull me through many months of pregnancy, but they all seem to emphasize the bloat. Announcement time can't come soon enough!

So anyway, I have no idea what pregnant woman in this town do for clothes.How will single racks of maternity clothes in JC Penney and Old Navy are get me through until November?? We used to have a Motherhood Maternity but we lost that months ago. Online shopping it is. I did at least pick up two non-mat dresses at Kohl's that should suffice for warm weekends - yay empire waist!

Instead of clothes, we came home with another book - this time for the daddy-to-be. Upon the recommendation of my friends, I signed up W to received the weekly BabyCenter emails, which I figured would do the job. But alas, this book was $4. I may crack up the first time I spy him reading it. But we're five and can't talk about baby books without re-enacting Seth Rogen and Katherine Heigl's fight in "Knocked Up" -- "I didn’t read the baby books! What’s gonna happen? How did anyone ever give birth without a baby book?!"

You know what else is ridiculous? The pregnancy/food relationship. Friday after work I went to the grocery store to pick up some rice (BRAT diet for my GI bug). I also grabbed some hot chicken tenders on my way out. And then something snapped in me as I got into my car. I pried open the chicken bag. It was like I lost all concept of etiquette and decency as I drove the rest of the way home with one hand on the steering wheel, the other clutching my fried chicken. I have never felt so pregnant than I did in that moment.

6 Weeks

According to the BabyCenter week by week illustrations, I have a tail in my body. That's kind of insane. 

Just as I was getting over my cold, I developed some sort of GI bug Thursday night. It took me a while to figure that out because I immediately attributed it to pregnancy, based on the knowledge that progesterone can throw your body completely out of whack. Needless to say it's been a miserable last couple of days. I always thought the first time I threw up in this pregnancy it would be because of pregnancy... 

I've told a few more close friends and coworkers about our little secret. I'm guessing by the time we've gone public, half the world will know anyway. With each day that goes by I feel a little more secure about this baby sticking thankfully. I hope my intuition is right.

Next weekend we go on our annual winery trip with friends. Even though I'll not be able to enjoy the vino, I have all fingers and toes crossed I won't feel too nauseous and tired. Bouncing around between 32 wineries with drunk friends in unpredictable weather doesn't give me ideal conditions to ne sick. Maybe I'll tote around some grape juice so I can feel more involved. ;)

Food on the Brain

Today is 5w3d and so far so good. I'm getting used to the everyday fatigue, and now that my cold is almost over, I'm sleeping through the night so much better. I think a lot about food. I'm guessing that will change should morning sickness strike in the next few weeks, so I'm going to just run with it.

Last week I thought a lot about sauteed vegetables. This week? Red meat -- cheesesteaks, hamburgers, bacon... I'm pretty sure I dream about it. A friend told me that's a boy sign, but I'm trying not to put much weight to those wives' tales. Oh, and sadly carbs are pretty nice too. The smell of my chicken noodle casserole is making my mouth water right now. I hope that craving goes away quickly; the last thing my butt needs are more starches.

I've been slowly accumulating books and downloading iPhone apps to help me navigate through these exciting and daunting nine months. Books are great of course, but I'm finding the most value from my BabyCenter app, which gives me a checklist. The other app I use daily is one called BabyBump which shows daily and weekly updates and tips. Oh technology. Someday I'll have to tell our baby he/she was conceived with the aid of an app.

Also, and more importantly, I'm fortunate enough to have a fabulous network of women in my life, many of whom have/are going through pregnancy and parenthood. Thankfully I can ask any silly question to them, and while they may internally mock me, they're very understanding about explaining certain things to me. And any question that is too mortifying to ask those women? Those go to Dr. Google. What did pregnant women ever do before the Internet??

5 Weeks

Why does time seemed to have stopped since I got my BFP? I'm only ONE-EIGHTH into this?? Actually I'm just impatient to get to second tri, mostly because I know my risk of miscarriage decreases at that stage.

I cursed myself the other day after my last blog post. The morning after voicing my sadistic wish for morning sickness ... viola! The next morning was awful. No throwing up thankfully, but still... ! And since I seem to be on a complaining kick, let me vketch about the cold that's kicking my pregnant butt. Apparently you can't take any decent medication when you're with child, so I have snotted and sniffled without the luxury of my usual Nyquil and throat logenzes.

Oh hai, bloat!

Thankfully my husband has been pretty great this past week, getting me whatever I need and asking me often how I'm feeling. When he calls from work he'll ask, "How's the kid?" as if it's something bigger than its current appleseed-sized state. And again, for fear of not remembering this wild time in our lives, I'm going to risk mortifying him someday when he finds this blog to share what he emailed Wednesday: I just wanted to take a second and tell you that I love you and that I can’t even begin to describe how happy I am that we are expanding our family. I just hope to be the best father and supporter in the world.


I've 'confessed' to a few more people this week. As much as I fear telling too many people because of how early it is, these are all people I wouldn't have a problem "un-telling." I'm basically an open book to all of my friends and colleagues, and it's killing me to have to withhold things or try to remember not to complain about a certain symptom that would totally out me.

At any rate, I'm thrilled it's the weekend and that I can take endless naps for two whole days! Apparently pregnancy turns you into a two-year-old (or college student).

4w5d

Today marks 4w5d and still no nausea -- which is good, don't get me wrong, but the sadistic part of it me wants a bit of it because it would reinforce a growing embryo. I have the typical 4-5 week symptoms: lots of fatigue (I think about my cushy bed once an hour) and swollen boobs. I've cut my caffeine intake by half, upped my fruit and veggie intake, and dutifully take my prenatals. I wish that I could be doing more, so I'll probably start walking around my neighborhood after work once the weather gets a little warmer.

Nope, not a baby bump.

I research a lot. It helps in a weird way to hear from other paranoid 1st trimester gals and compare symptoms and fears. I think about being pregnant constantly. I suppose that's a normal reaction to something this life-changing, but I know that not everyone needs to hear about it constantly.

I've always had a pouchy lower tummy area -- even at my thinnest in high school and then again in 2009. I've been convinced that everyone in the world suspects I've been knocked up for a year now. A shallow part of me wishes I was "out" so that I could stick out my bloaty belly with pride. But no. What looks like a baby bump is actually a food bump. Plus some newly added 1st tri bloating. I'm bound to get even more curious looks now.

I want to tell everyone I know about this, but holy crap, I'm not even 5 weeks in. Most women don't even KNOW they're pregnant this stage in the game. And as much as I'd love to start picking up baby items and maternity clothes, I'm afraid I'll jinx everything once I do!  Yes, it's illogical, but welcome to my brain. I've already come to terms that I'll be a crazy pregnant lady. My poor husband.

Telling the Family

Yesterday we told our family. I didn't want to announce it this early (I am barely 4 weeks in afterall), but my SIL and her family were in town, and all the important members of his family were in one place, so it meant a lot to W to tell them. SIL was overjoyed, but we didn't get a huge reaction from MIL

After that we drove to my parents' house to tell my dad and stepmom. There was a pause where I think they had to process it, but then they broke out into huge smiles and my stepmom teared up from happiness. Dad wanted to open a bottle of wine in celebration until I reminded him it was unfair I couldn't enjoy. :)

We then traveled a few towns away to have a 'drink' (mine being straight OJ) with my mom. I kept waiting for the right time, but it was so noisy where we were and I didn't know how to just come out with it. But then MIL and her fiance stepped in and W shouted to me "tell her before my mom does!" So I leaned into my mom and blurted "Mom, I'm pregnant!" She lost it -- stunned and amazed and started immediately crying.

So now that it's out there with the family, I am paranoid that we jinxed it and that the pregnancy won't last. Each day that passes that I am pregnant I grow a little more attached and used to this life-changing little mass of cells.

Lab Work & Starter Kit

I received another "jolt of real-ness" today when I got the call that my morning blood test was positive. And again when I scheduled my appointment to meet with an OB nurse. It lends a little bit more credibility to a store-bought home test of course!

While it seems feels very surreal, I am trying to temper excitement by realizing how easily things can turn the other way. Especially today when I felt less symptomatic than others. I know I shouldn't try to hurry up the ill part of first tri, but at least it would make this seem more like real life and not a thought planted in my head.

I also received what I'm calling my Pregnancy Starter Kit: half caf K-cups, What to Expect When You're Expecting (which I realized post purchase it's not the best), and some cheap pregnancy tests because I'll probably be pretty paranoid until I see a clinician.

Of course today had another positive. Getting this message via email from W: I just wanted to take a second and tell you that I think you’ll make a wonderful mommy. I’m so happy.

Tomorrow I get to visit with my in-laws, and I'm sure I'll be bursting at the seams to tell them, but I'm going to control myself. And also figure out a way to disguise the fact I won't be drinking alcohol. :-/

For my mom friends: What books do you recommend? Also what tips do you have for this very early stage?

And So It Begins...

I'm pregnant. Or so the four home pregnancy tests have said. But it hasn't quite hit me yet -- I keep waiting for the emotional part of this to kick in -- and also the physical part!

Me holding up the first test. See how calm I look?!

I tested positive February 29, 2012. I took the test very quietly at 5 am while my husband slept soundly. And I went on with the rest of my day, going to work, sitting through meetings without much fanfare. After work I ran to Kmart to buy some digital tests. Before I told my husband (W) I really wanted to make sure I didn't just have a faulty test. Lo and behold another very blatant positive result.

The second test, mostly so I could see the word

I told W that evening after a frozen pizza dinner. He was definitely a little shocked and thrown off guard but then quickly hugged me and told me he was happy. We had decided to ease into TTC in February, a little bit ahead of our planned schedule. I had assumed that it would take us quite a number of cycles to get pregnant -- fate had other plans!

I am scheduled to get my blood taken tomorrow, and I should have that result Monday so I begin the process of prenatal appointments. In the meantime I'm going to be furiously peeing on my sticks just to make sure I'm still pregnant. Oh and reading - I'll be doing a lot of reading because I'm kind of pregnancy clueless. I want to tell the world, but of course I won't; I know the first tri is a very fragile time, and I've seen too many friends go through miscarriages.

So here goes our journey into pregnancy and parenthood!