39 Weeks With Baby #2

How far along? 39 weeks

Total weight gain: 28 lbs.

Sleep: Awful! Very jagged sleep. Between 30-34 weeks I was able to sleep for about two hours in my bed, but often move to the couch after midnight. Then I fight to get comfortable and need several bathroom breaks. My best period of sleep happens between 3-6 a.m. At 38 weeks, I'm lucky if I get a 90 minute stretch of sleep, and I'm full-time on the couch moving from side to side, peeing about 6 times a night. Is it weird I'm almost looking forward to that awful newborn sleep? 

Best moment this week:  Making it to 39 weeks and my C-section date! While going into spontaneous labor would have been kind of interesting, I'm happy things are going to plan ... so far at least. 

Miss Anything? Being comfortable and sleeping. I know that won't happen until after my recovery and once the baby gets longer stretches of sleep, but the last few months of pregnancy are no joke!

I just can't believe I'm sitting here the day before we get to baby Molly. I feel overwhelmed, but also ready. I'm praying everything goes well and that she's healthy. I wear a lot of scars from our experience with Lucy. I want the most boring postpartum experience with Molly so bad -- including all of us leaving the hospital together. And unlike with Lucy's kind of spontaneous arrival, I'm pretty well planned with this one. The postpartum anxiety I felt with Lucy is such a vivid memory I want to do mitigate as much of it as I can early on.

While the journey to Molly was a lot longer and more challenging than I expected, my pregnancy with her has been overall great - pretty textbook. I have extra fluid and she's bigger than average, but everything is pointing to healthy. I wonder so much things -- will she look like Lucy? Will she be her own little person not at all like baby Lucy? How will Lucy react? How will I react? Admittedly it's been harder to connect because of my second-time mom guilt. I've been only Lucy's mom for so long it's difficult to add another person into that role. I'm sure the minute I meet her it will all change. 

Please arrive safe and healthy, little one. We can't wait to love you forever. 

37 Weeks

We're full term now!

Looks like Lucy will be here in two weeks. My fluid levels went up another 3 cm, and according to the growth ultrasound measurements, she's clocking in at 8 lbs 3 oz. I know from friends' experiences that this number is generally inaccurate and overblown, but it doesn't make me any less fearful. In regard to the fluid, my OB team and I suspect she's healthy and that the fluid levels could be caused by a late onset gestational diabetes. At this late stage in the game, they're not going to re-test me for GD. I still have bi-weekly nonstress tests (which she does perfectly on) and weekly ultrasounds. We'll talk induction at 39 weeks.

I have a lot of fears going into delivery. Because of the fluid and her size, I'm more likely a candidate for a C-section, so I need to come to terms that could happen if the induction doesn't work. It's definitely not what I want for several reasons, but at the end of the day, I just want our baby.

Symptom-wise, I'm struggling. While I'm not having noticeable contractions, everything else just hurts. I'm so heavy with such little ability to move anything but my arms. I'm also having the most incredible edema in my legs, ankles and feet. And it's NOW that I need to feel more energy and be more mobile as my to-do list isn't getting any shorter.

The To-Do List

• install car seat
• wash more of her clothes
• organize her clothes 
• buy more nursing tanks and a robe
• buy a traditional baby book
• pack hospital bags
• buy the video monitor and breast pump

I keep hoping that she'll decide to "move toward the light" on her own so I know that SHE is ready. C'mon, baby girl, we want to meet you!!

Fall Maternity Mini Session

The difference in my belly from 30 weeks to 36 weeks was pretty intense, so I had my bestie grab a few pics of us today (was also hopeful for some fall foliage). This belly is just obnoxious and getting more so by the day. In other news, the jeans I bought early in my pregnancy ... not the best fit right now. Eep.

36 Weeks

It's getting harder and harder to believe it's almost time. In under 4 weeks my little girl will be here. We still have a lot of things to do yet (install the car seat, pack the bags, pick up things FOR the bags, wash things, put the swing together, etc.), so I'd prefer to wait until after that's all done.

This part of pregnancy has been the hardest for me. I'm just really uncomfortable and can barely do the minimum, like going to work and coming home. Any physical movement is a struggle, and I feel like a circus act whenever I'm out in public. I get stared at, smiled at, and constantly approached by strangers who want to comment on my size. And in addition to my elephant-like body, I've been having lots of swelling in my ankles and feet.

Last weekend we attended childbirth education class, which scared the bejeesus out of me. It made me just reconsider having her out altogether! While I did learn some tips, a part of me just wants to play things by ear and be coached by the clinicians. I also attended a breastfeeding class this week.

Wednesday I had an u/s to measure her fluid levels with an appointment with the OB right after. The levels went up, past the line of a condition called polyphadramnios. It could be a sign of absolutely nothing or it could be a sign of a birth defect/chromosomal abnormality. I have the option of a referral to a nearby hospital with a neonatal specialist, and I was sent immediately down to L&D for a nonstress test.  During the test, the midwife who was on call told me the baby looked great and that I shouldn't be worried about the fluid levels as I was just over the line. She has been the only one to be comforting and reassuring about this as the thought of something being wrong with Lucy makes me want to hide in the ground. I have another nonstress test scheduled for tomorrow and I'll have another u/s at my 38 week appointment. I just have to have faith that my baby is a big, strong healthy lady with no health problems. If she isn't 100% healthy, we'll tackle that at birth.

For now, I'll concentrate on the fact that Lucy has lots of hair as shown by the u/s this week -- long enough to float away from her head!

35 Weeks

35/35!!!  It seemed like this milestone would never happen! 


How far along?  35 weeks -- the size of a honeydew

Symptoms:  Pelvic pain, mild Braxton Hicks, pressure on bladder, sluggishness, heartburn

Total weight gain/loss:  +42

Maternity clothes? I'm now down to maybe 5 dresses that fit right. I stopped caring though. Ha.

Sleep:  Sucky. Still sleep in 1 to 2 hour increments on the couch.  

Best moment this week: Had my work shower yesterday! 

Movement:  She loves the nightlife. She's definitely more active at night, especially when I wake up to hang out with my husband between 11:30 - 1:30. The movements aren't too painful. Once in a while she'll get in a good jab that will take my breath away. Since she's dropped a bit, there's more pressure lower.

Food cravings:   Nothing in particular.

Gender:  Girl

Labor Signs:  No.

Belly Button in or out?  In. But it's really shallow/flat!!

What I miss:  Sleeping on my stomach, sleeping in my bed, cocktails, being comfortable, being able to go for more than 1 hour without an urgent need to pee...

What I am looking forward to:  Putting finishing touches on the nursery and getting all the essentials off the registeries. We're in full nesting mode in October!

Milestones:  The famous 35/35! 

Observations

I really want this blog to be a solid documentation of my pregnancy, so I need to put these super random observations here in one place because I just don't want to forget this!

• When I drop something and people are around, I stare at the item until someone comes over to pick it up for me. When I'm by myself, I just leave it there. A colleague came into my office today and asked why there were sunglasses on my floor. She then figured out I just couldn't reach them. 
• Speaking of dropping, I am somehow dropping food all over me. I swear I used to be a tidy eater. Today I found pretzel crumbs all over the front of me. The other night I slopped tomato soup on my boob. My husband will probably not take me out in public again until after the baby's born.
• I love observing people looking at my belly. My favorite is women who just start spontaneously beaming at me like a Pavlovian dog. I'll miss that.
• I've become a toilet farter.
• I've been waddling since about 20 weeks. 
• When I walk past my full-length mirror, I just laugh. It's like looking in a funhouse mirror now. I can't believe that's me with the waistline that's doubled in size. I still can't believe this is real -- I don't think I ever will! 
• I grunt so loudly when I try to move. I never realized sitting/sitting up/laying down/rolling over could be the most insane physical obstacle. 
• I can't reach my feet anymore. I was hoping I could still manage to paint my toenails to the end, but that isn't happening. And there's no way my husband can do it for me -- though it would be really funny to see him try.
• I have bottles of Tums placed strategically everywhere -- my nightstand, my coffee table, my office. 
• I sleep in one/two hour chunks. And have for really the past few months. Part of it is hip pain, but part is my bladder. I haul myself off the couch, go to the bathroom, drink some water and change sides. Lather, rinse, repeat. I hate nighttime anymore.
• I had my first definite Braxton Hicks contractions Saturday night. When I announced it to W, his eyes bugged out and asked if we had to go to the hospital. When I emphasized Braxton Hicks contractions, he said "Well I don't know what those are -- all I heard is contractions!"

In other news, I think the baby has started to drop a bit!

34 Weeks

I had a growth ultrasound yesterday, and it's left me more confused than ever. According to the ultrasound, Lucy's clocking in at 5 lbs 11 oz, which is higher than average. Also, the amniotic fluid is higher than average as well. I have to have another ultrasound at my 36 week appointment and following I'll meet with the OB (I have been seen strictly by the midwives to this point.) I made the mistake of researching excessive fluid online, and the possible results have me terrified. I'm afraid I'll have to have a C-section. I'm afraid my water will break/gush so fast I'll have cord prolapse. I'm afraid even if she comes on her own time that she'll be so giant labor will be awful. I'm afraid that the fluid level is indicative of a birth defect -- that's my major concern. It's possible I'm completely blowing this out of proportion, but I don't need another unknown, another anxious thought in my head. I just want her to saunter out on her own time (before my due date) and be a perfectly healthy baby.

Also on the negative side of today's appointment, I'm up 9 lbs from the past 2 weeks, even though I have been consistently gaining 1 lb a week the past 4 weeks. I'm pretty sure most of that has to be water weight (my lower extremities are just now tree trunks), but still -- ugh. That's a total weight gain to date of 42 lbs. :(

On the PLUS side of the appointment -- we got to see her again via ultrasound! We saw her hiccup even! And this floored me -- she has HAIR. I was convinced she'd be a baldy like I was. I can't wait to see what color it is! From the u/s it just looks like little spiky fuzz.

I'm pretty confident she'll be here early, possibly in October. Time is ticking away so fast now. And I don't feel ready at all. A part of me wants to stay pregnant forever as crazy as that sounds! But so much of me just wants to be able to hold her in my arms and kiss her head and her chubby cheeks and breathe in the smell of her. I want to be her mommy in every way. But we'll need to have a chat about how she plans to make her entrance...

33 Weeks

Okay, when exactly did time speed up? Now instead of people saying "Ooh you have lots of time," it's now "Wow, so close!!" Ahhh! It seriously blows my mind that I could potentially have a baby next month. The mom-to-be anxiety is starting to hit. I feel like I just found out we're having a baby, even though I've known it for 7 months! Maybe it's because I now have time to think about really preparing for her. The past few months have been hectic with showers, weddings, out-of-town trips, conferences, photo shoots. But now it's nesting time. On the upcoming agenda - finishing off the nursery, packing the hospital bag, attending childbirth class, and squeezing in a fall mini maternity session. I'd also like to get one more pedi and perhaps a prenatal massage.

Even through all my anxiety over not being prepared and starting to think a little to much about labor, I really just can't wait to meet her. She's kind of like a little mystery right now. I know her sleep schedule and what makes her kick. I even know what she looks like to a point, but it's going to be completely different when she's on the outside. I just want to wrap my arms around her and love on her. Rubbing my belly just doesn't have the same effect.

Symptom-wise, I'm hanging in there. The pelvic pain is definitely still there. I really miss sleeping in beds. I'm a complete waddler, and I need to eat more frequent meals instead of larger meals. The heartburn I get at least twice a day. I've been having more ankle/feet swelling this week, but I could attribute that to walking around Philadelphia for three days.

People's comments continue to crack me up. During my conference last week, I had several women approach me and tell me not to go into labor that night. Errr, what? I was happily shoveling food in my face, not clutching my belly in agony! Do I really look like my water could break any minute? While I am big, she's so high up in my belly it doesn't seem like it could happen anytime soon.

32 Weeks

32 weeks, also known as 80% of the way there!

I used to think she'd make her arrival early, but now I'm not so sure. I think I need to prepare myself for an overdue baby so I don't hate my life if November 9 rolls around and she's still comfy in the womb. W thinks she'll be early based on her activity level -- "She wants out." Maybe I should start a pool. :)

Last Sunday Lucy finally broke free of the crazy position she found herself in last week. Thank GOD because oh my it hurt so bad. She's such a strong little girl. By Sunday I was practically crying out of frustration and pain. I have my fingers crossed she doesn't do anything similar or start doing the under-the-ribs kicks.

I made a tiny bit more progress on the nursery; After I put together the glider the other night, I sat there with my tank pushed up above my belly (klassy, I know) and just sat in amazement. There are so many times lately this all feels so surreal -- I've always thought about what it might be like to be pregnant and to be planning for a child, but now that I'm LIVING it... I still can't wrap my head around it. I can look down and see a visible pregnant body that is completely unfamiliar to me, and then I think about the result of this and it boggles my mind that much more. I'm going to be a mommy. Well, I AM a mommy now. I feel like a 13-year-old girl half the time, yet I'm going to have a daughter to raise in under two months. I have so many fears and anxieties about parenthood as I'm sure first-time moms often do. I try not to think about labor. I have to just hope that things go as well as can be and that Lucy and I remain healthy throughout.

I have a busy week ahead of me which include being a bridesmaid at an out of town wedding, going out of town a few days later for a conference, and then having my family/friends shower the next day. If my body can make it through all this excitement, I'll be amazed and grateful! I've really slowed down now and walking more than 20 steps is just plain annoying. I feel like all my organs are pushed together up to my throat. But through it all, I am enjoying pregnancy -- quite the contradiction, huh? Because I know that my days are numbered with it being just me and Lucy, where I don't have to share her with anyone. Selfish, yes. But I hear that's a trait common in moms. :)

Bump Progress to Date

31 Weeks

How far along?  31 weeks – the size of a head of lettuce.

Symptoms:  Frequent bathroom trips, sluggishness, mild back aches, heartburn, fatigue, some shortness of breath like my lungs are being crowded up against other organs

Total weight gain/loss:  +31

Maternity clothes? Yes and having a need to buy bigger maternity clothes! I'm trying to make do with what I have because in the scheme of things, 9 more weeks doesn't warrant the cost.

Sleep:  Poor as usual. I sleep on the couch in 2 hour increments. 

Best moment this week:  Had a nice Labor Day with my husband. It wasn't anything too out of the norm, but being able to share some relaxing moments with him is probably going to be few and far between when Lucy arrives.

Movement:  She's been a little off her normal schedule. Not a lot of movement Tuesday, but tons of all day movement Wednesday and Thursday. She's still a night owl. And now her movements are starting to hurt -- she'll stick out a foot or butt and leave it there! 

Food cravings:   Nothing in particular.

Gender:  Girl

Labor Signs:  No.

Belly Button in or out?  In. Though I'm sure everyone thinks I've popped; I have this old scar from when I removed my navel ring that juts out a bit right above my belly button.

What I miss:  Sleeping on my stomach, sleeping in my bed, cocktails, being comfortable, being able to go for more than 1 hour without an urgent need to pee...

What I am looking forward to:  Making some more progress in the nursery (the dresser should be arriving soon!) and VERY excited for my family/friends baby shower in two weeks, too.

Milestones:  Single digit weeks til my due date!! I'm now at the point where it seems just around the corner in a lot of ways. 

In other news, I'm clearly unprepared for baby according my overdue Bump tasks. :( 

30 Weeks

Three-quarters of the way to meeting my baby girl! Apparently she's the size of a cabbage. I'm guessing she's around 3 lbs by now. Based on what I saw at the 4D ultrasound, 2 lbs of her are her cheeks. :)

I had my 30 week midwife appointment today. I'm still measuring at 30, which puts me right on track. (I was measuring at 30 two weeks ago as well.) I put on 2 more lbs for a grand total of 31 lbs at 30 weeks. Her heartbeat is at 140 and the midwife also believes she's head down now.

No new symptoms. I'm still battling the round ligament pain and constant peeing. I move like an elephant in slow motion, and when I'm on my back, I'm definitely a turtle who's landed on her shell. I get swollen ankles and feet when I'm doing a lot of walking.

We really haven't made much nursery progress other than getting the rug. My dad is coming over this weekend to help me hang curtain rods, and then I'll be testing out some curtains. We're also going to try finding her, and maybe us, a dresser.

We have our maternity session coming up on Sunday, and I'm so anxious. I set really high expectations for myself when I book a pro shoot, and I spent three hours in the mall tonight trying to find a new dress with absolutely no luck. I hate when I have a vision that I can't make work. So I'm going to try to use what I have. I'm also coming equipped with lots of different props, so maybe that will disguise any poor choices in wardrobe I make.

Invites arrived today for my baby shower which will be in three weeks! 

Baby Girl in 4D!

I'll admit it: I used to majorly side-eye 3D/4D sonogram pics. I thought they were pretty creepy with their sometimes alien-like distorted features. And then I majorly side-eyed parents who used them as their FB profile pics, etc.

But when it's YOUR baby up on that screen -- ohmygod, completely changed my tune. It was the best $125 I could have spent. I'm just in awe. My baby is beautiful and perfect! Watching her contort around, arms holding up legs, fists on her head, mouth moving to suck in amniotic fluid -- there are just no words.

One of my favorites even though the arms by her head make for some distortion

I stare at her pics (and the DVD of it) and just start tearing up every time. She's MINE! Well, mine and W's. But, we MADE her! And she's amazing. I still can't figure out who she looks like -- I see both parts of our noses; lips could be mine.

Somehow it's made my pregnancy annoyances seem a lot more tolerable, and now when I feel her tumble around in my belly I can put a face to it.

We also learned she is head down now (hopefully stays that way!) and got confirmation she's still a girl. :)

29 Weeks

Almost out of the 20s! Somehow being in your 30-some weeks seems a lot more closer. Also, baby is the size of a butternut squash.

Because pregnancy seems to have brought on adult ADHD, here's another random list of thoughts/things that happened during the past week.

• We went to my favorite amusement park last weekend, but it was like 80% less fun being pregnant. Between all the bathroom trips, elephant walking, only riding two rides.... blech. The only thing that got me through was the thought we'd be pushing around our (outside) baby next year.
• Had my first baby shower Sunday (details and photos in last blog post.)
• Attended a physical therapy class for pregnant women Monday, where we learned how to prevent back pain through better posture and little exercises. Also talked about pelvic floor/bladder issues. I definitely learned a few things (like how to log roll out of bed which is preventing a lot of my round ligament pain squeals), but I still can't get the right posture down! 
• Made some very minor progress on the nursery. I really need our schedules to chill out a bit for a few weeks so I can get some more done. I think I know what rug we're getting. I'm testing out a pair of curtains soon, and I'm ordering the crib skirt. Dresser hunting continues at actual furniture stores hopefully tomorrow. 
• Also tomorrow? 4D ULTRASOUND! I'm so nervous. While I can't wait to get a better peek at our little girl, I've always been one to get creeped out by these ultrasounds because they can look so distorted. With any luck, I'll be able to post some photos tomorrow night!! 

Getting started on photo session outfits and props. :)

Baby Shower #1

I had the first of my three baby showers this past weekend. Though it was an intimate gathering of former coworkers/friends, the details nearly sent me over the edge into hormonal tears. The entree was my favorite meal -- chicken and broccoli from my favorite Chinese place. The cake was a two-tiered round funfetti, but the food detail I loved the most: the baby buggy fruit salad. I may have screamed out "That's on Pinterest" when I first saw it. 

I'm so blessed to have so many awesome people in my life -- and soon, my baby's. :)

28 Weeks

Highlights of the past week

• Baby girl attended her first bridal shower and bachelorette party! Though I did have to tell her she won't be attending another b-party until she's 21. ;) I had a minor freakout when I thought the loud music/bass was keeping her up and active too long (parenting is going to be soooo mentally exhausting!), but I was then reassured she was most likely bouncing around in the womb, having a blast. 
• I signed us up for our Saturday childbirth class -- we go in early October. The bad part about that is it's 7 hours long! 
• I took my one-hour glucose test -- and passed! I don't know why, but I had convinced myself I was going to fail it and/or be diagnosed with GD. Bullet dodged. Pass the cookies.
• But I should maybe pass on cookies, considering I went up another 7 lbs this month. OMG. I'm now a total of 29 pounds up from starting weight. Surprisingly I'm not freaking out. Yes, I could make healthier choices, but I believe my body is going to do what it's going to do to grow this child. Weight can always be lost. 
• More progress made on the nursery, i.e. there's a freaking CRIB in my house!!! It's so surreal. I guarantee I'll be spending a lot of time in her nursery just staring in amazement that soon there'll be a little girl in it. Blows my mind a little more each day. 

Me, baby, and the beautiful bachelorette!

CRIB!

27 Weeks

I REALLY don't want to whine again, especially because part of this blog's purpose is to serve as documentation for my daughter to read someday, but it's really had to put a positive spin on the past week. To put it bluntly, I've been a miserable, sad sack of a pregnant woman. The aches, pains, rampant bladder problems, combined with body image issues ... it's been messing with me mentally. And I hate it. I hate being down because of pregnancy. I want to focus on what's ahead and the tiny little baby who is living in my uterus, depending on me for everything. But I'm trapped in my own head, fervently wishing I could hit the fast forward button to November.

And then the guilt comes. Because as sucky as the negative parts are, I don't want to rush this. Like I said before, this is a very epic period in my life, and I don't want to wish it away. I always knew that the latter half of my pregnancy would be a little more cruel since first tri was such a breeze.

But the good news? We've hit the third trimester! (Most sites say 3rd tri begins at 27 weeks, so that's what I'm going with.) Third tri will be full with many events -- showers, weddings, my baby showers -- and things like finishing her nursery, getting maternity photos done, attending childbirth class ... it will be busy for sure!

How far along? 27 weeks

Total weight gain: 22 lbs as of 3 weeks ago.

Maternity clothes? Basically everything is maternity now. Sadly I've sized out of some of my early maternity clothes. :( 

Stretch marks? No new ones anyway!

Sleep: Still sleeping on the couch every night. I can sleep soundly and comfortably until the mother nature calls. 

Best moment this week: Making it to third tri 

Miss Anything? Pre-pregnancy body that didn't hurt, a cold beer, dresses with waistlines

Movement: Lots of movement. Baby girl is active. I think she's been taking in too much Olympics -- she likes to use my uterus for her floor mat routine.

Food cravings: The past few weeks I've had cravings for turkey BLT sandwiches.

Anything making you queasy or sick: No.

Gender: Girl :) 

Labor Signs: None. 

Symptoms: Heartburn, constant need to pee, round ligament pain

 Belly Button in or out? In.

Wedding rings on or off? I bought a fake diamond ring a few weeks ago because my wedding band was getting tight. 

Happy or Moody most of the time: This week? Very moody. 

Looking forward to: Seeing college friends this weekend to celebrate the upcoming nuptials of one of my bests.