23 Weeks

Disclaimer: The below will sound whiny and bratty, but sometimes a pregnant girl just has to complain about the crap parts of pregnancy. Don't get me wrong -- I'm thrilled to be pregnant and be a grower of life and all that jazz I swear. But it's not all puppies and rainbows.

I miss being able to sleep in my bed. I miss being able to haul myself out of a sitting position without time and grunts and heavy breathing. I miss not four hour stretches of sleep. I miss fruity cocktails and beer. I miss not having heartburn and random pains in my belly. I miss having non-swollen legs and feet. I miss not feeling like I'm not an elephant who slowly trudges wherever it goes. I miss the days when people didn't have carte blanche to talk about my weight. I miss not being judged/judging myself for what foods/drinks I put into my body.

But worst of all is the knowledge that I have soooo many more weeks to go and that all of the above will just get worse and then some. I'm already growing out of some of my maternity clothes -- like, how is that even possible at 23 weeks?!

Planning wise, I feel like I'm falling behind. I haven't been able to get in touch with the daycare I'm interested in. The guest room is still not cleaned out, not painted, no furniture purchased. I have two registered started, butt they're not completed. I haven't scheduled my childbirth classes yet. Why is it time slowed down when about my physical discomforts, but seems like it's zipping by when I think about all the baby prep?

Baby is the size of a large mango! She's getting more active in the days, but she's especially feisty at night right before I want to sleep.

12 Weeks

Pregnancy is becoming more real. Or maybe it's hearing the heartbeat at this week's exam. I was feeling pretty guilty before this... like a robot for not feeling a bond with my baby yet. There are so many unknowns right now. As a Type A, planner type it's hard for me to plan ahead -- to know who this little person will be once on the outside. What will he/she look like? Act like? What kind of human will they grow to be? Will they be smart, athletic, funny, introverted, artistic? How will we be as parents? How will I survive the drawbacks of parenthood everyone seems to warn me about?

 It's sometimes easy to forget I'm physically pregnant -- I'm not quite showing, my symptoms are not strong, and no nursery or baby gear in sight. But when I find myself alone, I rub my belly and softly whisper to the little peanut. And it's then the overwhelming emotion washes over me.

The past two weeks I've been furiously buying maternity clothes. Getting dressed in the morning is my biggest nightmare anymore, so the more I can diminish that aggravation the better!

Hoping to get our reveal shoot done this weekend. If we do, our little peanut becomes Facebook official on Monday!

Baby's Hearbeat

Too Soon for Maternity Clothes?

Over the weekend the hubs and I went shopping. Because of my awesome bloat belly, I thought it might be time to get a feel for what size maternity clothes I might be wearing soon. It's been awful dressing lately. Like I wrote before, I normally have a rounded out lower belly, but now? It's ridic. I was never a big pants wearer, but now my only pants options are leggings and my stretchy almost yoga-pant NY & Co. "trousers." I really thought my closet of over 100 dresses would pull me through many months of pregnancy, but they all seem to emphasize the bloat. Announcement time can't come soon enough!

So anyway, I have no idea what pregnant woman in this town do for clothes.How will single racks of maternity clothes in JC Penney and Old Navy are get me through until November?? We used to have a Motherhood Maternity but we lost that months ago. Online shopping it is. I did at least pick up two non-mat dresses at Kohl's that should suffice for warm weekends - yay empire waist!

Instead of clothes, we came home with another book - this time for the daddy-to-be. Upon the recommendation of my friends, I signed up W to received the weekly BabyCenter emails, which I figured would do the job. But alas, this book was $4. I may crack up the first time I spy him reading it. But we're five and can't talk about baby books without re-enacting Seth Rogen and Katherine Heigl's fight in "Knocked Up" -- "I didn’t read the baby books! What’s gonna happen? How did anyone ever give birth without a baby book?!"

You know what else is ridiculous? The pregnancy/food relationship. Friday after work I went to the grocery store to pick up some rice (BRAT diet for my GI bug). I also grabbed some hot chicken tenders on my way out. And then something snapped in me as I got into my car. I pried open the chicken bag. It was like I lost all concept of etiquette and decency as I drove the rest of the way home with one hand on the steering wheel, the other clutching my fried chicken. I have never felt so pregnant than I did in that moment.