Molly at 12 Months

And just like that, a whole year has gone by since you joined us. There are still times I look at you and wonder how you got there, incredulous that you exist in the world and that you belong to us. Lift a beautiful gift from above, you exemplify the phrase "angel baby." Your sweet toothy smile, your sparkly eyes, your darling little forming mullet -- you have stolen my heart in ways I didn't know could exist. I hung very tightly to this baby phase knowing how fleeting it is. But with each day I decide I love you slightly more than the day before and look forward to seeing the kind of person you grow into it. You sure were worth the wait, Molly Moo.

At your 12 month appointment on April 27, you are 18 lbs 3 oz and 28.37"  tall, which puts you in the 24th percentile for weight and 30th for height! Your head circumference is 86th percentile. You're in 12 month clothes but still fit into 9 months.

You love stealing all the remotes and clapping them against the hard floor. You love pulling up on things, and you love your little plastic colorful cups. You are able to do "so big", wave, and clap. We have this thing we do when anyone sneezes. You smile real big and wait for all of us to say "Ewww" which makes you smile even harder. You love to eat, especially carbs. You love people. You're generally very compliant and happy to go with the flow. Just last week we switched her car seat from the infant seat to the convertible -- jury's out on how you like it.

Since we've been quarainted thanks to COVID-19, you have dropped to one big girl nap! You sleep about 12/13 hours a night and take a two hour nap. Never thought I'd see the day. You're pretty good at putting yourself to sleep without a lot of crying.

Overall, you're just the nicest little baby we could have ever asked for, and I can't imagine life without you. You bring us more joy than you'll ever know, my little rainbow girl.

Molly at 10 Months

Moo Moo, are you even real? I love watching your little personality emerge lately. You are still pretty chill, but going through a clingy phase the past few weeks. You're not content to hang out without someone being very close to you. 

Weight:  Guessing somewhere around 17-17.5 lbs. Such a tiny thing, especially compared to how giant she first came out. 

Medical Issues: A lot of snot and coughs this month, plus a touch of viral pink eye. Also a lot of poop blowouts, but maybe that's because she's headed toward a bigger diaper size soon. 

Sleep:  Still hating naps! I think she only takes 2 naps a day at school. She fights to stay awake. On the weekends, she'll take a few catnaps on my lap while nursing. I don't have it in me to nap train her. She does have an earlier bedtime (around 7/7:30) and wakes up around 6 (opposed to the 7:30 she was giving me months ago.)

Clothes: Mostly 9 month, but we're starting to do 12 month sleepers. I'm hoping she fits into her 12-18 month summer clothes at some point. 

Social:  Starting to let other people hold her again which is a relief! She loves being out and about, especially sitting in the front part of the grocery cart. She babbles, dada, mama, and even does Lucy's old Gladys laugh and noises. Lucy makes her actually laugh, something I can't seem to get her to do a lot. 

Food: Still mostly on purees, though the gagging has slowed down a bit. I think she's just my vomit kid. :( She still loves her Puffs so much, but is really appreciating Cheerios too. 

Crying: Mostly cries from when she's tired. 

Play: She loves little plastic toys in her hand. I have to shove one in her hand while I change her diaper in the hopes she stays put. She also likes to pull the wipes out and pretend to clean things. 

Molly at 9 Months

Oh sweet baby, you continue to amaze me with everything you are. I constantly hug you close to me, wondering how you can be real. I think back to a year ago when I was starting to feel you kick inside of my belly, wondering who you'd be, what you'd look like. And now you've been earthside for 9 months, making everything brighter.

Weight:  Down half a pound to 16 lbs as of last week. Thanks to a double ear infection, tummy bug, and newfound crawling, she dropped weight. Little peanut is now 17th percentile, down from her normal 20 something percentile. The only thing in a high percentage is her big noggin.

Medical Issues: I think another cold is coming on. It's been a crappy first winter, but that's to be expected. 

Sleep:  She hates to nap -- her frequent catnaps have gotten worse. She'll fight through a nap at all costs, and when she does submit, it's not for long. Once in awhile, I can get her into her crib for a weekend nap for over an hour. At night, she sleeps almost 12 hours straight through. 

Clothes: 6-9 for the most part, though I'm sure she can fit into her 6 month clothes too. She wears one piece pajamas all the time, even to school. 

Social:  She's still a really good traveler -- she loves being out, looking at things. But she's now doing this yelling thing. Like screams (not out of anger-- more like testing her lungs/voice.) She has had a good case of stranger danger for over a month now. While she's happy to engage with people, she'd much rather do it from the comfort of her parents arms. Oh -- new this week. Babbles, including "dadada." I did hear a random Mama in there too.

Food: She loves all food, but she's not the best at swallowing table food, so I've been sticking to purees and Puffs for the most part. The gagging doesn't scare me that much anymore, but she often will throw up from the gagging. I think Molly's my vomit-y kid.

Crying: Mostly cries from when she's tired. 

Play: Her favorite toy seems to be clapping stacking cups together. She's started to get interested in Lucy's old Zany Zoo, but she seems happy enough to be rolling around on the floor with a few small toys. 

Molly at 7 Months

Dear Molly,
Time, please slow down! You are growing too quickly right before my eyes. I am trying to soak in every rub of your fuzzy head, your milky breath, the way your face looks when you smile with your eyes closed, your tiny fingers grabbing on to mine.

Milestone-wise, you just cut two more teeth (top middle), for a total of four. You are not sitting unaassited yet, but you are trying to crawl! You just started solid foods a month ago and eat like your mother -- ferociously. :) While we give you mostly purees, you're likely to snatch a fry off my plate and try to down it. Pizza crust was a hit. Since you started solids you have been spitting up less!

leepwise, you're still catnapping, but you sleep good at night - about 9/10 hours. You are wearing both 6 and 9 month clothing though you're still a peanut. 15 lbs at your 6 month appointment, and 15 lbs 8 oz. a month later. Socially, you love everyone. Big smiles wherever you go -- very easy going unless you're tired.

You are very amused by your sister, and especially love when she dances and cheers around the house. You also love your toys, jumperoo, and a good bag of wipes. I'm so excited for your first holiday season. I never had a baby this age this time of year. :)

I love you so much, sweet baby of mine. A year ago we didn't know if we were even having a boy or girl, and now here you are -- our dream baby.

Molly at 23 Weeks

Weight: After a 2 weeks growth spurt, she has had about 2 weeks of non growth spurts, so I'm really not sure! I'm guessing somewhere between 15-16. She seemed to chub up for a minute, but is lengthening out again. She has her next well visit in a few weeks. 

Health: Another cold -- this one has been waking her up several times a night! Development wise, she's really mastering grabbing and using her hands. We're close to finding our toes! And she really loves her mama's boobies; it's lately her favorite place of comfort. My supply has been on the lower end the past few weeks which has me nervous that it may be slowly going down. 

Sleep: Bedtime is now around 9/9:30 and she is in her crib as of two weeks ago! While she handled the transition rather well, we're now waking up several times a night -- hopefully because of the cold and not because of a regression. She sleeps in her zippadee zip swaddle and rolls from her back to belly. She'll somewhere roll herself around to bang on the sides of the crib. Still catnapping. 

Clothes: 3-6 really solidly. 

Social: Still really happy.

Crying: Hunger and fatigue. She fights naps like crazy anymore unless she's nursing. 

Molly at 19 Weeks

Weight: 13 lb last week at her 4 month well visit. Dropping in percentile to 24th, but pediatrician is not concerned. She's 80th percentile for height. I'm trying not to stress about it. 

Health: She developed a little cold the past few weeks, and we have cut two teeth already which is way earlier than Lucy did. Unfortunately she uses those little teeth to bite during nursing. Eep! 

Sleep: Still a catnapper during the day. About 5 naps a day. Sleep is more unpredictable these days -- can I blame four month sleep regression and teeth? She sometimes won't go down until 10:30 again, and sometimes a 3 am wakeup to nurse. She did pull a few 7:30s the few days after her four month vaccine.

Clothes: 0-3 can still fit, but I'm moving her up to 3-6. 

Social: Loves smiling at people, and especially loves her sister who is constantly entertaining her with dances and cheers.

Crying: Hunger and gas pains, though that seems to be fewer now.

Molly at 12 Weeks

Disclaimer: Writing this at 13 weeks! OOPS.

Weight: 12 lbs 2 oz last week. I keep bringing her in for weight checks to keep the gain in order. She's gaining on the lower end, which has me an anxious mom -- especially as we're 90% breastmilk.

Health: Jaundice gone! I'm so relieved we didn't have to go to the Pittsburgh specialist. She looks like a different baby. Now just anxious about weight gain. Such a spitter still! But she's a happy spitter so we just deal with it.

Sleep: Still a catnapper during the day. About 5 naps a day. Bedtime has bumped up during our first week of daycare to about 9:15 ish which I'm not sad about. For most of the week she woke up a little before 6 am which is perfect.

Clothes: 0-3

Social: Started our first week of daycare, and she's doing great. She's such an easygoing baby, so I wasn't too worried about how she'd do.

Crying: Hunger and gas pains, though that seems to be fewer now.

Milestones: Very early stages of grabbing things. A lot more aware of her surroundings. Once she locks eye contact with someone huge smiles. Lots of chatting. And even though we don't have structured tummy time she holds her head up so well and pushes up with her legs when we hold her up on the couch. 

Molly at 8 Weeks

Weight: We haven't had a weight check for two weeks, but I'm guessing she's somewhere in the low mid 11 lb range. I've been starting to stress that she's not eating enough based on pumping output and how much she takes via the occasional bottle.

Health: I took her to the pediatrician about 2 weeks ago because she's been spitting up so frequently. While they weren't concerned about the relux, the PA noted her jaundice and requested another lab check with CBC, so we took off to the lab where they had to take it from her arm. She was still showing pretty elevated levels so they wanted us to take her to pediatric GI doc in Pittsburgh. Ultimately her color started improving, so another lab check just a day before our scheduled appointment showed her levels went down by a lot and we have to get it re-checked in two weeks. Praying they continue to go down and she finally kicks the jaundice totally. I was so worried thinking she had some sort of liver disease, but it seems like it was just a very prolonged cause of breast milk jaundice.

Sleep: Her first nighttime stretch still sits around 5-7 hours with bedtime around 9:30/10 pm. She's gotten better about being quicker with her MOTN feeding, but her second stretch of sleep is still very light especially when it starts to get light and the damn birds start chirping right around the same time. I added another layer of white noise last night which seemed to help and she slept until 8 am. We have less than 4 weeks to figure out a wake up routine that will let me maximize my own sleep and get myself ready before she wakes up. Fingers crossed we can pull it off!

Naps are a wreck. Frequent 20 minute naps are her jam.

Clothes: 0-3 are fitting decently now. Still gowns at bedtime, and some sort of romper for day/going out.

Social: We try to get out when we can -- now mornings we hop in the car to take Lucy to summer camp. The friends visiting have obviously slowed down, so we try to get out when we are able. Luckily there are outdoor festivals and things to go to that help get us out of the house.

Crying: Hunger, overtired. And gas pains make her so upset it breaks my heart. Fortunately it doesn't happen a lot.

Milestones: First social smiles have happened this month. A lot more aware time though she's not that interested in things for very long. 

Molly at 4 Weeks

Weight: We're finally back to birthweight at 3 weeks! She's now probably about 9 lbs 8 oz. She had lost over 10% of her birthweight so we had repeated weight checks. Apparently jaundice makes you too sleepy to take in the required calories, but I also think her birthweight was a little inflated thanks to the IV fluids.

Health: We had about 10 lab draws for biliribuin checks since her discharge as well as the weight checks. While she still has it at 4 weeks, it's not something the dr is concerned about. Lingering just like Lucy's did. I notice she looks a lot less yellow by nighttime and when I have her outside for periods of time. She is pretty exclusively breastfed, and we finally found a bottle she takes well -- the Comotomo. Expensive, but worth it for times I need to leave the house!

Sleep: I feel like she's doing rather well with sleep. The first week she would do a few 3-4 hour stretches starting around 11 pm. By week 4, we're now upstairs and her first stretch is between 5-6 hours. She has a pretty big awake time after that which I'm hoping we can work on. Her naps are getting shorter throughout the day unless we are out and about in the stroller, car seat, or wrap. Her naps are supervised in the rock and play downstairs for the most part. Bedtime is spent in the bassinet swaddled with white noise and her bink for extra support after feedings.

Clothes: Mostly newborn and mostly sleepers during the day and sleep gowns at night. She's not quite filling out 0-3 yet, but probably will in the next 2 weeks if she's like big sister at that age.

Social: I attempt to either have a visitor or get out of the house each day to soak in the nice weather and help ward off any PPD. She's been out in public since discharge and travels well. Sleeps better with a lot of ambient noise and motion, so when she needs some distraction I pop her in the stroller and walk around the neighborhood -- something I couldn't do with Lucy due to the time of year. I notice my mental health is better on days when we have things going on, though I do get worried I am throwing her off a "schedule" -- but let's be real, she doesn't have one of those!


Baby Gear Love:Carter's clothes - Still love everything Carters for comfort and durability especially at this age.

Pampers Swaddlers - Tried and true best diaper for newborns. Also loving Dove baby wipes - soft and not too wet.

Swaddle Me By Your Bed Sleeper - Barely an incline and makes me feel much better about SIDS than the RnP Lucy slept in.

Wubbanub - Thankfully she takes the bink which helps soothe when I'm not available.

Crying: Mainly cries when hungry or when getting her arms in clothes. Also when clusterfeeding and getting frustrated nursing.

Milestones: All of them! First bath after losing her belly button stump at 9 days old, lots of travels, lots of doctor visits, first Knoebel's trip at 3 weeks old. We may attempt tummy time and activity mat this week -- she's got decent head control already! 

Introducing Molly Katherine Brink: Birth Story

She's here!!

Her birth day started very early as we checked in L&D at 5:30 am to prep for surgery. The pre-op process was pretty seamless - IV and cath -- and some actual legitimate contractions that started about 40 minutes before I walked into the OR! I take it she was coming that day regardless.

This C-section was similar, yet very different from Lucy's. I felt a lot less pressure and pain physically, but that feeling of when I heard those first cries = the same euphoric feeling. As the doctor pulled her out, Wes was able to snap photos on my phone, and I heard the doctor say "Wow, look at those thighs!" They made a comment about the cord being twisted, but said it wasn't anything to worry about. They brought her over to the warmer but I couldn't really see her. Luckily Wes was there cutting the cord and taking photos of her getting evaluated and checked. The scale read 9 lbs 4 oz which honestly floored me a little. While we knew she'd be bigger, I was thinking somewhere in the 8's! They brought her over to me to do skin to skin as I got to lay eyes on her for the first time. There are really no words for the first time you get to meet your baby. She was all chub, roly poly thighs and arms.

Wes and Molly were able to go to the recovery room while I was getting stitched up. After I was wheeled into recovery, Molly and I were able to breastfeed for the first time. I was so thankful for this and the OR skin to skin time as Lucy and I were separated for what seemed like aeons until I was in postpartum.

We stayed in the hospital until Thursday afternoon, receiving many visitors and learning about each other. Big sister got to see her about 4 hours after. To help myself recover I sent Molly to the nursery overnight for small clips so I could rest. It was insane how much I missed her when she would get wheeled back to me -- this little meatball who I knew for all of a minute. I loved moving my hand over her soft head, arm rolls, chubby thighs and the familiar feet that I often pushed down with my hand while they were in active in utero. She took to nursing rather well and loved resting on top of my bare chest.

Toward the end of our stay, two health issues popped up for her -- billirubin levels and losing more weight than typically recommended. I spent day 3 and 4 with her on this plastic mat biliblanket which made nursing incredibly harder. Also on day 3 of our stay I had more pain and sore breasts. By discharge I was anxious to go home and worked up in tears over her weight loss and jaundice issues. But we got to all leave together Thursday afternoon -- a milestone we missed out on with Lucy's birth. Bringing her home was so surreal -- there was an entirely NEW person living in our house making us a family of four finally.

39 Weeks With Baby #2

How far along? 39 weeks

Total weight gain: 28 lbs.

Sleep: Awful! Very jagged sleep. Between 30-34 weeks I was able to sleep for about two hours in my bed, but often move to the couch after midnight. Then I fight to get comfortable and need several bathroom breaks. My best period of sleep happens between 3-6 a.m. At 38 weeks, I'm lucky if I get a 90 minute stretch of sleep, and I'm full-time on the couch moving from side to side, peeing about 6 times a night. Is it weird I'm almost looking forward to that awful newborn sleep? 

Best moment this week:  Making it to 39 weeks and my C-section date! While going into spontaneous labor would have been kind of interesting, I'm happy things are going to plan ... so far at least. 

Miss Anything? Being comfortable and sleeping. I know that won't happen until after my recovery and once the baby gets longer stretches of sleep, but the last few months of pregnancy are no joke!

I just can't believe I'm sitting here the day before we get to baby Molly. I feel overwhelmed, but also ready. I'm praying everything goes well and that she's healthy. I wear a lot of scars from our experience with Lucy. I want the most boring postpartum experience with Molly so bad -- including all of us leaving the hospital together. And unlike with Lucy's kind of spontaneous arrival, I'm pretty well planned with this one. The postpartum anxiety I felt with Lucy is such a vivid memory I want to do mitigate as much of it as I can early on.

While the journey to Molly was a lot longer and more challenging than I expected, my pregnancy with her has been overall great - pretty textbook. I have extra fluid and she's bigger than average, but everything is pointing to healthy. I wonder so much things -- will she look like Lucy? Will she be her own little person not at all like baby Lucy? How will Lucy react? How will I react? Admittedly it's been harder to connect because of my second-time mom guilt. I've been only Lucy's mom for so long it's difficult to add another person into that role. I'm sure the minute I meet her it will all change. 

Please arrive safe and healthy, little one. We can't wait to love you forever. 

27 Weeks with Baby #2

Amanda Steinbacher Photography

Can't believe we're closing out second trimester already. This pregnancy has gone fast -- and slow at the same time. Overall I feel good! A few minor annoyances, but honestly after the year of fertility struggles and loss, I'm so happy to be pregnant and carrying a healthy baby girl. Getting ready Lucy to be a big sister holds a lot of magic -- while not normally a sweet and caring soul, Lucy is already in love with her "Sissy" and now I understand the parents who place a lot of energies into the older siblings instead of the baby.

Health-wise I got to stop checking my blood sugars four times a day, but do have to re-do the one hour glucose test.

Upcoming we are scheduling the 4D ultrasound, having maternity photos done in late February, and starting work on the nursery. 11 weeks to go!!

How far along? 27 weeks

Total weight gain: 15 llbs.

Maternity clothes? Yes, but also able to wear non-maternity leggings and tunics and a few dresses. 

Stretch marks? I spotted some new a few weeks ago, but I try not to look at myself without clothes on. 

Sleep: Seemingly better than my pregnancy with Lucy. I go to bed early, wake up a few times to go to the bathroom, but sometimes have a 1-2 hour period in the wee hours of insomnia. At least I'm able to sleep in the bed! With Lucy I was on the couch from 17 weeks. 

Best moment this week: Pregnancy moment? Feeling her be a lot more active and strong. And at my OB appointment this week, she thumbed on the heart doppler so hard the midwife lost her grip on it. 

Miss Anything? Belly sleeping. Bending over. 

Movement: Kicks and tumbles -- usually after I drink or eat and when I flip over in bed. I've noticed she thumps a lot if I'm startled by something. 

Food cravings: Lately I've been craving fruit. 

Anything making you queasy or sick: No.

Gender: Girl :) 

Labor Signs: None. 

Symptoms: Pregnancy brain, heartburn, carpal tunnel, pelvic pain

 Belly Button in or out? In.

Wedding rings on or off? On -- I guess at this time I had swelling with Lucy; but not this time -- yet.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy definitely. 

Looking forward to: Making progress on the nursery is my focus the next few weeks. 

Ir's a ...

It's a wonderful thing we love pink and sparkles around here, because I'm having another baby girl! Our anatomy scan was Wednesday. Dec. 5. She was a little uncooperative and almost didn't give us a good look. In fact we have to come back in four weeks for another scan because she didn't show lips, nose, or four chambers of the heart very well. But we're all very happy to welcome another lady into the Brink family. Lucy, especially, is over the moon.

I'm told I have an anterior placenta right now which is why I'm not feeling her movements very well. It does stress me out, especially at night because I'm still able to sleep on my belly. I want to feel those reassuring flutters and kicks. I also can't wait for Lucy to be able to feel her kick from the outside.

I've started buying a few things here and there now that I know what it is -oh, and planning the nursery too!

And Baby Makes Four!

This blog may need retitled.

I'm now almost 8 weeks pregnant with Baby Brink #2. Having suffered a pregnancy loss just 9 months ago, I'm cautiously optimistic this little bean will make it. The first ultrasound is scheduled for less than a week away, at which point Lucy may get the news that she'll be become a big sister in April. The journey to baby #2 ended up being longer and more challenging than I imagined, but in the end, I believe it will be worth it. I'm so excited for Lucy to have a sibling to grow up with, even through the 6.5 year age difference.

_____

Oh hey, I'm 17 weeks pregnant now! I guess it's true the second child gets the short end of the stick. I was so good about documenting my pregnancy via my blog and photos with Lucy; I haven't taken one bump photo. Maybe it's the fact I'm starting out bigger than I was and don't like being photographed or it could be life is just way more hectic six years later.

I often forget I'm pregnant, but when I remember, I feel instantly happy. I wanted this for so long and went through more heartache than I expected to get here. Unlike my pregnancy with Lucy, I am relatively laid back about this -- even with it being a more high risk pregnancy due to my age and semi-diagnosed gestational diabetes.  I'm so laidback I think I could go all 40 weeks without knowing. Crazy! I don't even pretend to have a "feeling" one way or the other. After all I thought Lucy was a boy until the anatomy scan.

Social media announcement at 12 weeks

Symptom-wise I'm feeling pretty good! My first trimester I had the normal stuff -- really just one week around the 9/10 week mark of nausea and heartburn. Second trimester has been great. My sleeping patterns are pretty off. Around 9 pm I just hit a wall and have to lie on the couch and fall asleep and then spend a few hours in the early am wide awake! I'm currently still belly sleeping but I expect that to end soon. My bump is getting more noticeable, and I'm moving into some maternity clothes.

We've heard the heartbeat two times now, the first of which baby gave me a scare and wouldn't let us find it very easily. Last appointment at 16 weeks HB was 145. Also on the clinical side, I have been referred to the Diabetes Center for gestational diabetes. I shouldn't have technically been diagnosed based on my three hour glucose tolerance test, but they're being more conservative considering how Lucy's birth went down. So now I have to prick my finger four times a day until the day I deliver. It's a pain, but worth it to avoid the complications I had with Lu.