34 Weeks

I had a growth ultrasound yesterday, and it's left me more confused than ever. According to the ultrasound, Lucy's clocking in at 5 lbs 11 oz, which is higher than average. Also, the amniotic fluid is higher than average as well. I have to have another ultrasound at my 36 week appointment and following I'll meet with the OB (I have been seen strictly by the midwives to this point.) I made the mistake of researching excessive fluid online, and the possible results have me terrified. I'm afraid I'll have to have a C-section. I'm afraid my water will break/gush so fast I'll have cord prolapse. I'm afraid even if she comes on her own time that she'll be so giant labor will be awful. I'm afraid that the fluid level is indicative of a birth defect -- that's my major concern. It's possible I'm completely blowing this out of proportion, but I don't need another unknown, another anxious thought in my head. I just want her to saunter out on her own time (before my due date) and be a perfectly healthy baby.

Also on the negative side of today's appointment, I'm up 9 lbs from the past 2 weeks, even though I have been consistently gaining 1 lb a week the past 4 weeks. I'm pretty sure most of that has to be water weight (my lower extremities are just now tree trunks), but still -- ugh. That's a total weight gain to date of 42 lbs. :(

On the PLUS side of the appointment -- we got to see her again via ultrasound! We saw her hiccup even! And this floored me -- she has HAIR. I was convinced she'd be a baldy like I was. I can't wait to see what color it is! From the u/s it just looks like little spiky fuzz.

I'm pretty confident she'll be here early, possibly in October. Time is ticking away so fast now. And I don't feel ready at all. A part of me wants to stay pregnant forever as crazy as that sounds! But so much of me just wants to be able to hold her in my arms and kiss her head and her chubby cheeks and breathe in the smell of her. I want to be her mommy in every way. But we'll need to have a chat about how she plans to make her entrance...

33 Weeks

Okay, when exactly did time speed up? Now instead of people saying "Ooh you have lots of time," it's now "Wow, so close!!" Ahhh! It seriously blows my mind that I could potentially have a baby next month. The mom-to-be anxiety is starting to hit. I feel like I just found out we're having a baby, even though I've known it for 7 months! Maybe it's because I now have time to think about really preparing for her. The past few months have been hectic with showers, weddings, out-of-town trips, conferences, photo shoots. But now it's nesting time. On the upcoming agenda - finishing off the nursery, packing the hospital bag, attending childbirth class, and squeezing in a fall mini maternity session. I'd also like to get one more pedi and perhaps a prenatal massage.

Even through all my anxiety over not being prepared and starting to think a little to much about labor, I really just can't wait to meet her. She's kind of like a little mystery right now. I know her sleep schedule and what makes her kick. I even know what she looks like to a point, but it's going to be completely different when she's on the outside. I just want to wrap my arms around her and love on her. Rubbing my belly just doesn't have the same effect.

Symptom-wise, I'm hanging in there. The pelvic pain is definitely still there. I really miss sleeping in beds. I'm a complete waddler, and I need to eat more frequent meals instead of larger meals. The heartburn I get at least twice a day. I've been having more ankle/feet swelling this week, but I could attribute that to walking around Philadelphia for three days.

People's comments continue to crack me up. During my conference last week, I had several women approach me and tell me not to go into labor that night. Errr, what? I was happily shoveling food in my face, not clutching my belly in agony! Do I really look like my water could break any minute? While I am big, she's so high up in my belly it doesn't seem like it could happen anytime soon.

Baby Shower #2

Yesterday my girlfriends and moms threw me a shower. It was awesome to have our friends and family together to celebrate Lucy's impending arrival. My friends did an awesome job at planning the shower and have it represent her nursery in theme and colors. Now begins the hard part of organizing all the loot and figuring out what we need to get yet!

Maternity Session Sneak

Photo credit: Cardens Photography

32 Weeks

32 weeks, also known as 80% of the way there!

I used to think she'd make her arrival early, but now I'm not so sure. I think I need to prepare myself for an overdue baby so I don't hate my life if November 9 rolls around and she's still comfy in the womb. W thinks she'll be early based on her activity level -- "She wants out." Maybe I should start a pool. :)

Last Sunday Lucy finally broke free of the crazy position she found herself in last week. Thank GOD because oh my it hurt so bad. She's such a strong little girl. By Sunday I was practically crying out of frustration and pain. I have my fingers crossed she doesn't do anything similar or start doing the under-the-ribs kicks.

I made a tiny bit more progress on the nursery; After I put together the glider the other night, I sat there with my tank pushed up above my belly (klassy, I know) and just sat in amazement. There are so many times lately this all feels so surreal -- I've always thought about what it might be like to be pregnant and to be planning for a child, but now that I'm LIVING it... I still can't wrap my head around it. I can look down and see a visible pregnant body that is completely unfamiliar to me, and then I think about the result of this and it boggles my mind that much more. I'm going to be a mommy. Well, I AM a mommy now. I feel like a 13-year-old girl half the time, yet I'm going to have a daughter to raise in under two months. I have so many fears and anxieties about parenthood as I'm sure first-time moms often do. I try not to think about labor. I have to just hope that things go as well as can be and that Lucy and I remain healthy throughout.

I have a busy week ahead of me which include being a bridesmaid at an out of town wedding, going out of town a few days later for a conference, and then having my family/friends shower the next day. If my body can make it through all this excitement, I'll be amazed and grateful! I've really slowed down now and walking more than 20 steps is just plain annoying. I feel like all my organs are pushed together up to my throat. But through it all, I am enjoying pregnancy -- quite the contradiction, huh? Because I know that my days are numbered with it being just me and Lucy, where I don't have to share her with anyone. Selfish, yes. But I hear that's a trait common in moms. :)

Bump Progress to Date

31 Weeks

How far along?  31 weeks – the size of a head of lettuce.

Symptoms:  Frequent bathroom trips, sluggishness, mild back aches, heartburn, fatigue, some shortness of breath like my lungs are being crowded up against other organs

Total weight gain/loss:  +31

Maternity clothes? Yes and having a need to buy bigger maternity clothes! I'm trying to make do with what I have because in the scheme of things, 9 more weeks doesn't warrant the cost.

Sleep:  Poor as usual. I sleep on the couch in 2 hour increments. 

Best moment this week:  Had a nice Labor Day with my husband. It wasn't anything too out of the norm, but being able to share some relaxing moments with him is probably going to be few and far between when Lucy arrives.

Movement:  She's been a little off her normal schedule. Not a lot of movement Tuesday, but tons of all day movement Wednesday and Thursday. She's still a night owl. And now her movements are starting to hurt -- she'll stick out a foot or butt and leave it there! 

Food cravings:   Nothing in particular.

Gender:  Girl

Labor Signs:  No.

Belly Button in or out?  In. Though I'm sure everyone thinks I've popped; I have this old scar from when I removed my navel ring that juts out a bit right above my belly button.

What I miss:  Sleeping on my stomach, sleeping in my bed, cocktails, being comfortable, being able to go for more than 1 hour without an urgent need to pee...

What I am looking forward to:  Making some more progress in the nursery (the dresser should be arriving soon!) and VERY excited for my family/friends baby shower in two weeks, too.

Milestones:  Single digit weeks til my due date!! I'm now at the point where it seems just around the corner in a lot of ways. 

In other news, I'm clearly unprepared for baby according my overdue Bump tasks. :( 

Name Game

Early on in my pregnancy, we created a short list of boy names and girl names, narrowing down to our top two favorites from each list. The night before our anatomy scan at 20 weeks, I kept wondering, Will it be ____ or _____?  And within 24 hours, W and I were testing out the top girl name. Obviously it stuck, and we can't even imagine another name for our baby at this point.

Sweet Lucy, we can't wait to meet you!