NICU Part 2

Each day Lucy spent in the NICU was either a high or low. Highs when they landed on a diagnosis and each time she made progress. Lows when a nurse said to look at two more weeks. Highs when we learned it would be within the week. Lows when she didn't get to lose her CPAP and photo therapy when what was projected. Highs when we did kangaroo (skin to skin) with her and when she was able to shed a few tubes. Lows when we weren't in the NICU and spent the whole time wondering how she was doing. Highs when I was able to try breastfeeding her. Our NICU stay was by far the most unexpected part of Lucy's arrival into the world. It's just something you can't fathom until you're in it. The entire time it felt like I was living someone else's life. How could this have happened to us?

Skin to skin with mommy for the first time

Wes and I realized we had to take the entire awful situation hour by hour in order to deal. We leaned on each other more than I ever thought was possible during that week. He took care of me physically when I was so sore from my surgery. We took care of each other emotionally and intellectually. We took turns reading her books and singing to her and telling her stories. We cried together the first time she opened her eyes. Each morning we woke up and said, "I hope our little girl had a good night; I can't wait to see her." I knew that we could make it through anything, as long as we did it as a team. But we knew our girl was a fighter. All the nurses and docs would comment about her rebellious nature. We received a call Tuesday night from one of her docs saying that we had quite the child on our hands; Lucy had extubated herself from her vent, or as the doc said, "Lucy is telling us she's better and didn't need the vent, so we're advancing her to her to the CPAP." Turns out, she was right and didn't need it anymore. She spent the next couple of days under the photo therapy lights for her jaundice and the CPAP for her respiratory problem. We didn't get to really see her face during those days, but that weekend she got to lose her CPAP and the photo therapy and was even put in clothes!

On her 6th day in the NICU, we were transitioned to Level II and were moved to the "demo room." While it was nice to be in a more private setting with our own bathroom, fridge, microwave, and TV, it felt like a little prison cell. Lucy was still connected to three monitors and a feeding tube so trying to take total care of her for the first time with clumsy and awkward times two as she was tethered to her crib. It was then we first learned what sleeplessness is. Wes had to go back to work the next day (Monday), so I spent a good 24 hours contained in that demo room with her, just trying to figure her out, practicing my diaper changing and breastfeeding skills. The nurses came in once in a while to take her vitals, but it was really just me caring for her.

On the morning of Tuesday, November 6, Lucy's neonatologist came into the room and hugged me, asking "Are you ready to go home?" I cried in her arms. And after her medical team left, I fell into Wes's arms. It was the news we'd been yearning to hear since she was born. With extreme nervousness, we loaded Lucy into her car seat, all the while asking each other "They're really letting us have a baby? To keep??"