34 Weeks

I had a growth ultrasound yesterday, and it's left me more confused than ever. According to the ultrasound, Lucy's clocking in at 5 lbs 11 oz, which is higher than average. Also, the amniotic fluid is higher than average as well. I have to have another ultrasound at my 36 week appointment and following I'll meet with the OB (I have been seen strictly by the midwives to this point.) I made the mistake of researching excessive fluid online, and the possible results have me terrified. I'm afraid I'll have to have a C-section. I'm afraid my water will break/gush so fast I'll have cord prolapse. I'm afraid even if she comes on her own time that she'll be so giant labor will be awful. I'm afraid that the fluid level is indicative of a birth defect -- that's my major concern. It's possible I'm completely blowing this out of proportion, but I don't need another unknown, another anxious thought in my head. I just want her to saunter out on her own time (before my due date) and be a perfectly healthy baby.

Also on the negative side of today's appointment, I'm up 9 lbs from the past 2 weeks, even though I have been consistently gaining 1 lb a week the past 4 weeks. I'm pretty sure most of that has to be water weight (my lower extremities are just now tree trunks), but still -- ugh. That's a total weight gain to date of 42 lbs. :(

On the PLUS side of the appointment -- we got to see her again via ultrasound! We saw her hiccup even! And this floored me -- she has HAIR. I was convinced she'd be a baldy like I was. I can't wait to see what color it is! From the u/s it just looks like little spiky fuzz.

I'm pretty confident she'll be here early, possibly in October. Time is ticking away so fast now. And I don't feel ready at all. A part of me wants to stay pregnant forever as crazy as that sounds! But so much of me just wants to be able to hold her in my arms and kiss her head and her chubby cheeks and breathe in the smell of her. I want to be her mommy in every way. But we'll need to have a chat about how she plans to make her entrance...